I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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