I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
