Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
