Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
