i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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