Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
