You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
