He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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