I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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