This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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