fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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