There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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