did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize