pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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