so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
