we have pet lesbian snakes
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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