Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
