I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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