last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
