Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
