I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
