we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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