my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
