I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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