i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
