oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
