Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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