note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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