He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize