glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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