i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
