Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
