shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
