i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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