What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
