Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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