I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
