I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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