she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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