I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
