I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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