Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
