Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
