I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
