Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
