never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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