Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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