I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
