How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize