No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
