Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
