my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
