i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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