she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize