the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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