her vagine was all disorganized.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
