You're so nebulous sometimes
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
