Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
