I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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