I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
