Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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