I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
