We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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