its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
