sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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